This will be a double review. A very sad review too. And I will be reviewing Counter Strike: Global Offensive. I first tried to get this on the pc. I preordered it because I got like 15% off and I'm a man on a budget. Tried to play the demo and my computer insisted on crashing. Not just not working but a nice Blue Screen of Death that gimped my new computer. I read up all about why it was doing this and tried to fix it. Obviously the developers at Valve can't work around AMD's Bulldozer processor or whatnot and so I have to try and fix it. Update drivers. Still BSOD. Update Bios. It works!
Oh but the framerate is awful. I can run it but any action on screen turns my monitor into a blur of death. It was unplayable. I tried to find out what was wrong because I've already spent a week in a half trying to make this fucking game work. I just wanted to headshot some veterans and be happy. But happiness is not that easy. I messaged steam for a refund so I could get it for my xbox. That's still pending. I did virus scan after virus scan and nothing showed up. I did an memtest which tests your cpu and it passed after two hours. The drivers were updated. I reinstalled steam, reinstalled the game, and checked my hardware temps. The cpu was running a little high at 56 degrees. I then backuped everything (a pain in the ass) and reformatted. Wow it still doesn't work. Must be hardware. Got some thermal paste and time to apply it when I am home next.
I really just needed a new game. Something competitive because I haven't played anything online in quite some time besides Max Payne which felt like killing children in a playground rather then actual enemy combatants. So I got it for my xbox after I tried the trial and not only had a blast but also felt like I was pretty good.
Counter strike is counter strike. If you have never played, this game really hasn't changed in ten or so years. It's two teams against each other in objective based missions. There is the counter-terrorists and the terrorists. The terrorists love to blow things up and the CO love to kill the terrorists which only makes more terrorists next round. In all but one game mode, you only get one life. Games with one life really are amazing. Not only do they slow down your actions and leave you defending your strategy but they also leave you really reliant on your team mates. Speaking in this game is very recommended. You won't get cussed out telling people the location of enemy.
The community reminds me of the pc gaming community where friendship comes with the territory. Killing terrorists or blowing shit up really comes with knowing your fellow peers. Getting to know them and how they play and what they like to do while playing helps the team tremendously. A team of scrubs can take out a veteran just by simple logic. Don't stray far. Know where the rush is. Have different guns and loadouts then your fellow friends.
The maps are really good. They have good choke points. They have good short range and long range areas. They have secret alleys and locations. And they feel really balanced. It's really hard to blame yourself for a loss. Its really hard to look at yourself as the winner. This game is based on your team and how well you work in one. If you find yourself not liking this game, you must be a selfish, over grown, prick that needs to go play some deathmatch and jerk off to your k/d. No one will care here how many nubs you have tea bagged. We all see you and we are all laughing when the enemy team comes and slices your throat when you are looking like an entertaining fool. Be a jester some where else plox.
Pros
-Counter strike come with great territory and competitive gaming
-The hit detection is too die for. Literally.
-Good maps, good community, and just online.
Cons
-Fuck Valve and there shitty development team. I am blaming them for gimping my machine. Eight fucking core processor can't run cs on LOW!
-Can get discouraging.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Crusader Confusing
Just picked up the game Crusader Kings II. Now imagine staring at this map for a few hours.
Yeah you are just as clueless then I am. I even played the fucking tutorial and I still don't know what I am doing. So you start the game by picking out a significant moment in feudal Europe and you pick one of the kings. There are many kings to pick up from and every difficulty level is above the half way meter. I tried five different kings with varying difficulty levels and I found out the same thing each time. I know nothing about feudal Europe and how to run a country based on heritage. How the hell do you make money when you are just a figure head? How do you prevent wars that are fought over nothing but a fake plot?
You can pause time and try to set your self up for greatness but the rest of the world runs on probability. The farthest I got was living out one king and right when he died and his son took over, I went to war with three different kingdoms. I was pissed since I've been trying to live the pacifists life. WHICH DOESNOT WORK IN EUROPE.
You have to run the military, the church relations, the relations between all your mayors and council members. Also every relation with everyone surrounding you in a matter of time. Also people riot, people are pissed, and everyone wants more land. This is just a game that doesn't work for me and I used to love strategy games. But if I don't get to build anything and I have to deal on an economy that I have little control over. This game you have little control over everything and you have to deal with technology. You have to deal with advancements. You have to deal with keeping up with everyone else. Too much stuff that you run by just pressing a button and hoping in twenty years that you made the right choice. I think. I don't really know what I am doing but clicking and praying. I'll just tax them some more.
Pros
-Based off of history
-Feudal Europe
-Strategy with no control (Majesty)
Cons
-No control
-History doesn't make any sense. Why are we fighting?
-Everything you do doesn't seem to make any present day impact.
Yeah you are just as clueless then I am. I even played the fucking tutorial and I still don't know what I am doing. So you start the game by picking out a significant moment in feudal Europe and you pick one of the kings. There are many kings to pick up from and every difficulty level is above the half way meter. I tried five different kings with varying difficulty levels and I found out the same thing each time. I know nothing about feudal Europe and how to run a country based on heritage. How the hell do you make money when you are just a figure head? How do you prevent wars that are fought over nothing but a fake plot?
You can pause time and try to set your self up for greatness but the rest of the world runs on probability. The farthest I got was living out one king and right when he died and his son took over, I went to war with three different kingdoms. I was pissed since I've been trying to live the pacifists life. WHICH DOESNOT WORK IN EUROPE.
You have to run the military, the church relations, the relations between all your mayors and council members. Also every relation with everyone surrounding you in a matter of time. Also people riot, people are pissed, and everyone wants more land. This is just a game that doesn't work for me and I used to love strategy games. But if I don't get to build anything and I have to deal on an economy that I have little control over. This game you have little control over everything and you have to deal with technology. You have to deal with advancements. You have to deal with keeping up with everyone else. Too much stuff that you run by just pressing a button and hoping in twenty years that you made the right choice. I think. I don't really know what I am doing but clicking and praying. I'll just tax them some more.
Pros
-Based off of history
-Feudal Europe
-Strategy with no control (Majesty)
Cons
-No control
-History doesn't make any sense. Why are we fighting?
-Everything you do doesn't seem to make any present day impact.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Summer of Bugs
Since I usually always fall into the trap of buying games off the Summer of Arcade event, this year is no different. I have already bought two. I already reviewed one and was generally pleased with Tony Hawk HD remake compilation pack. It was fun and I am still working on the Pro-jectives for that one. Can't do that downhill jam for shit. Then I realized I should at least get the next one because it's for Kinect.
I've always been a little weary about motion based gaming. It's fun but since the controls are still being explored for each genre, the gameplay seems to take a backseat. Not in all games but it's a noted problem throughout the motion gaming community haha. Well, I just got my Kinect last Christmas because they have some pretty cool games and I didn't know what else to ask for from my girlfriends sister. So we got the Kinect and since I asked for Kinect games for x-mas, I already start accumulating quite a few. It was easy to hook up and kind of fun navigating my xbox with my hands. It was like finger painting for a gamer/internet/technology fan. Then I would play the games with so much vigor like I was working out and the next day would be hell. My arms hurt worse then any work out I have ever done. Damn you unnatural movement!
So I get wreckateers on only two basis's which are I have a Kinect and I think an IGN review. I only read the ending statement or whatever junk they do and was like a 7.5 is worth my money (it's not, I'm poor.) So I play it. But before I play it I have to move all my furniture around so the kinect can maybe pick up my range. This game uses some easy gestural mapping but a lot of the game is very finnicky.
The whole premise of the game is to knock down castles and towers and buildings with an assortment of different cannons and projectiles. There is a floater, a spread shot and a flyer which is really cool if it works properly. The premise is very Angry Birds, destroy and get points, but this is in three dimensions which adds so much more to the game. Not only do you control the power but you also control the pitch. Then while the projectile is in the air, you control it with your hands to perform curve balls and hit special bonuses in the sky. This game puts you in control!
Just like angry birds and every game ever created, the game gets harder the farther you progress. There is advancements to the technology every few stages which makes the game innovative. The gimmick of shooting never really dries up because, hey, I'm killing trolls and hitting three towers like dominoes. It gets exciting and you want to cheer but be careful, THE KINECT IS ON.
The controls are, like I said, finnicky. Since it want a perfect shot with not to much control in the sky, the line up is so important. To grab the drawstrings you must step forward and put your hands together out in front of you then to gain power you step back and angle your shot. Pretty simple but you would be wrong. The kinect has some troubles picking up the designated game area or something. I don't necessarily know what is happening but ill be moving to the right and my guy will be moving closer to the screen. Or any other way except the precise place I want to be for my shot. It's aggravating especially when your icon or avatar somehow becomes turned around. I tried turning around and performing the game but it wouldn't work. I had to move around more shit to get it to KIND of work. The first day I played it worked fine but since the game was getting harder and precision was key, I started getting antsy and the game started to break. Definitely deterred me from the game because I'll have to use my collected mulligans to redo a shot that I didn't mean to shoot since I thought I was trying to grab the drawstrings.
7 blips out of 10 bloops
Pros
-Addicting, familiar game with innovation
-Nice castles trolls don't mind me hitting these CHARGES
-Makes me feel like I am mini golfing with destruction
Cons
-Game I've seen before
-Issues with the Kinect/Gameplay that is deterring.
I've always been a little weary about motion based gaming. It's fun but since the controls are still being explored for each genre, the gameplay seems to take a backseat. Not in all games but it's a noted problem throughout the motion gaming community haha. Well, I just got my Kinect last Christmas because they have some pretty cool games and I didn't know what else to ask for from my girlfriends sister. So we got the Kinect and since I asked for Kinect games for x-mas, I already start accumulating quite a few. It was easy to hook up and kind of fun navigating my xbox with my hands. It was like finger painting for a gamer/internet/technology fan. Then I would play the games with so much vigor like I was working out and the next day would be hell. My arms hurt worse then any work out I have ever done. Damn you unnatural movement!
So I get wreckateers on only two basis's which are I have a Kinect and I think an IGN review. I only read the ending statement or whatever junk they do and was like a 7.5 is worth my money (it's not, I'm poor.) So I play it. But before I play it I have to move all my furniture around so the kinect can maybe pick up my range. This game uses some easy gestural mapping but a lot of the game is very finnicky.
The whole premise of the game is to knock down castles and towers and buildings with an assortment of different cannons and projectiles. There is a floater, a spread shot and a flyer which is really cool if it works properly. The premise is very Angry Birds, destroy and get points, but this is in three dimensions which adds so much more to the game. Not only do you control the power but you also control the pitch. Then while the projectile is in the air, you control it with your hands to perform curve balls and hit special bonuses in the sky. This game puts you in control!
Just like angry birds and every game ever created, the game gets harder the farther you progress. There is advancements to the technology every few stages which makes the game innovative. The gimmick of shooting never really dries up because, hey, I'm killing trolls and hitting three towers like dominoes. It gets exciting and you want to cheer but be careful, THE KINECT IS ON.
The controls are, like I said, finnicky. Since it want a perfect shot with not to much control in the sky, the line up is so important. To grab the drawstrings you must step forward and put your hands together out in front of you then to gain power you step back and angle your shot. Pretty simple but you would be wrong. The kinect has some troubles picking up the designated game area or something. I don't necessarily know what is happening but ill be moving to the right and my guy will be moving closer to the screen. Or any other way except the precise place I want to be for my shot. It's aggravating especially when your icon or avatar somehow becomes turned around. I tried turning around and performing the game but it wouldn't work. I had to move around more shit to get it to KIND of work. The first day I played it worked fine but since the game was getting harder and precision was key, I started getting antsy and the game started to break. Definitely deterred me from the game because I'll have to use my collected mulligans to redo a shot that I didn't mean to shoot since I thought I was trying to grab the drawstrings.
7 blips out of 10 bloops
Pros
-Addicting, familiar game with innovation
-Nice castles trolls don't mind me hitting these CHARGES
-Makes me feel like I am mini golfing with destruction
Cons
-Game I've seen before
-Issues with the Kinect/Gameplay that is deterring.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Tony Hawked for good.
Can anyone say that this is the funeral to Tony Hawk? Can't Tony Hawk just say it? Not because this is a disgrace to the franchise but because these games are better then ever. I've recently got depressed over the thought of my gaming abilities decreasing due to my age. I feel like teenagers are just randomly spastic and hyper and just are murder machines. Now that I have escaped murdering people, I am a passive pacifist that is relatively lazy. But I grew up on this shit. I love skateboarding. This is the reason I got a Sony Playstation for Christmas. To play Tony Hawk.
I play a lot of skate. Even still, I've been watching my stunning abilities at Skate 2. But Tony Hawk is the exact opposite of Skate. Skate is for the sand box gamer who likes to flaunt their own horn. Tony Hawk is for the strict fundamentalists. You need to follow the rules to win and there is plenty of things to get around. What I thought were bugs the whole game are actual game play mechanics that I am later using to hack Tony Hawk's reality (which is completely different then ours) and try to attempt a sick score on Down Hill Jam. Fuck That Map.
My two big upsets with this remix or bring back or recollection. Whatever the term is, where is the horse? I need to one up people on online. Also I want contests to be back. I want to be able to play contests online. And no make a park. Internet on consoles have become fluent. They really missed the mark on playability on this game. The online playlists that we can play are score which I know I will get dominated at. I haven't methodologically played a Tony Hawk game in probably 7 years.
I was so surprised how fast I picked up the controls. At first I was trying Skate Controls and then after that I started button mashing and eating shit every jump. Once you realize that the board is never supposed to actually touch the ground you start scanning the map, thus analyzing it, and combos start to become fluent. Next up is enlisting a routine. And also I loved the nostalgia feel. This game came out what, twelve years ago, and I still know that the map has Carlsbad but how do I get to it! The more and more you play a map the more you see all the hidden access points and how to get to them.
I was hoping more from this package even though it's an arcade game. The graphics look really good. I am no purist and I feel like they could of pulled back some objects and made spots a little easier to hit due to the fact that you don't actually control your speed besides your landing and crouching. You don't push so hitting an object is random. I feel like if they gave this project to fans, they would of taken the maps and changed some strategies around. Camera would be nice to edit footage and no skate films in the game. If I get a secret dvd in the game, it should be something in the bonus menu. I loved watching the accident videos from before.
Blips 5/10
PROS
-Exciting, Fun, Memories
-Feels good for Tony Hawk to be back.
-Same game, Same fun.
CONS
-Hardly any replayability
-Not enough change when Technology has changed so much in 12 years
-No competitions or films.
What other games should get brought back?
I play a lot of skate. Even still, I've been watching my stunning abilities at Skate 2. But Tony Hawk is the exact opposite of Skate. Skate is for the sand box gamer who likes to flaunt their own horn. Tony Hawk is for the strict fundamentalists. You need to follow the rules to win and there is plenty of things to get around. What I thought were bugs the whole game are actual game play mechanics that I am later using to hack Tony Hawk's reality (which is completely different then ours) and try to attempt a sick score on Down Hill Jam. Fuck That Map.
My two big upsets with this remix or bring back or recollection. Whatever the term is, where is the horse? I need to one up people on online. Also I want contests to be back. I want to be able to play contests online. And no make a park. Internet on consoles have become fluent. They really missed the mark on playability on this game. The online playlists that we can play are score which I know I will get dominated at. I haven't methodologically played a Tony Hawk game in probably 7 years.
I was so surprised how fast I picked up the controls. At first I was trying Skate Controls and then after that I started button mashing and eating shit every jump. Once you realize that the board is never supposed to actually touch the ground you start scanning the map, thus analyzing it, and combos start to become fluent. Next up is enlisting a routine. And also I loved the nostalgia feel. This game came out what, twelve years ago, and I still know that the map has Carlsbad but how do I get to it! The more and more you play a map the more you see all the hidden access points and how to get to them.
I was hoping more from this package even though it's an arcade game. The graphics look really good. I am no purist and I feel like they could of pulled back some objects and made spots a little easier to hit due to the fact that you don't actually control your speed besides your landing and crouching. You don't push so hitting an object is random. I feel like if they gave this project to fans, they would of taken the maps and changed some strategies around. Camera would be nice to edit footage and no skate films in the game. If I get a secret dvd in the game, it should be something in the bonus menu. I loved watching the accident videos from before.
Blips 5/10
PROS
-Exciting, Fun, Memories
-Feels good for Tony Hawk to be back.
-Same game, Same fun.
CONS
-Hardly any replayability
-Not enough change when Technology has changed so much in 12 years
-No competitions or films.
What other games should get brought back?
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Max Payne more like I am in Payne
First of all I am not reviewing Max Payne's single player. I watched it and only helped my room mate on one part that he was stuck on for a week. It looked like fun and the graphics are amazing. It's like a comic book was a video game that was a comic book. But I'm not a fan of Max Payne as a character. Pessimists or Nihilists are completely irritating to me. Oh this guy is complaining because he is in a rich area of South America which is basically one of the richest areas of the world you can be in. The seperation between poverty and wealth is gross and I don't even care if it's a fucking fictional story. Max Payne keep taking those painkillers so somehow I can get them through the controller because I don't like your complaining. I wish I could ride on a helicopter and shoot rockets in mid air. If I did that once I would die a fine death but he does it three times.
I am going to review the multiplayer. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?! Well I don't get paid and I don't care. The matchmaking is bad. I started playing probably a week after this game was released (I DIDN't HAVE INTERNET) and the population on each server was less then 300 which basically means that matchmaking means if you get into a match you should be excited. There was a few times that I would be waiting to join a match and not just the game would freeze but the console would. I'm not used to PS3 since it's my roommates but I feel like this shouldn't happen at all ever anymore. Isn't humanity better then this that if the game gets stuck in some makeshift server that doesn't exist that there should be a failsafe to pull you back to atleast the main menu. It can't be too hard.
Connection: 1/5 blips
Next was the segregation. Before you join any game mode you have to pick between soft lock or free lock. Soft is basically auto aim that is harder to get a shot on target then free aim. Free aim is awesome and needs to be implemented in all games. It felt so rewarding hitting headshots from across the map or pulling off amazing quick kills. While playing I only found one weapon that I liked and that is because it had a zoom. I hated the progression. It took forever to level and you only got new guns at 5,10,20 and 40. I only got to 20 and spent all my money on a shitty shotgun. Well my friend did and we made fun of him for a week until we quit playing the game. Also, if you didn't know about max payne, he can slow mo and you can slow mo in multiplayer. There is also a few other perks that helped you in battle like slowing down time while speeding up your reaction time or make you seem like you are on the other team. Level 40's got rocket launchers which instantly made me feel like the game was unbalanced. One shot kills.
Death match was notorious. If you didn't have a class where you could run around as fast as possible with duel wielding guns and pressing the left and right triggers all the time, then you couldn't win. Duel wielding wasn't fair and it felt like I was getting head shotted all the time from sprayers. We used to call these players "Spray and Pray" back in the days! Fuck em'.
The only thing that I would recommend to play is Large Team Deathmatch. Gang wars was just confusing and no one played it and you could bet money. I want a game where I can bet real fucking dough on that. The small maps sucked and the large maps were great because they are Symmetrical like Gears of War which makes me happy. It's fair wherever you spawn. Maps need balance, games need balance, guns need balance and perks need balance. Developers have just been overloading us with customization without caring about what I "perfect builds." Spraying a gun isn't fun. Killing shouldn't be fun if it isn't skillful or you are just a sadistic asshole. Winning isn't everything buddy so calm down with the double uzi's.
237 blips out of 1000
Pros
-Slow mo was fun when you jumped off buildings or through windows.
-Some maps Symmetrical.
Cons
-Hardly any players a month ago
-Balance issues
-This game got delayed for years and this is the product. Rock star more like Pawn star.
-More aggravating then fun.
I am going to review the multiplayer. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?! Well I don't get paid and I don't care. The matchmaking is bad. I started playing probably a week after this game was released (I DIDN't HAVE INTERNET) and the population on each server was less then 300 which basically means that matchmaking means if you get into a match you should be excited. There was a few times that I would be waiting to join a match and not just the game would freeze but the console would. I'm not used to PS3 since it's my roommates but I feel like this shouldn't happen at all ever anymore. Isn't humanity better then this that if the game gets stuck in some makeshift server that doesn't exist that there should be a failsafe to pull you back to atleast the main menu. It can't be too hard. Connection: 1/5 blips
Next was the segregation. Before you join any game mode you have to pick between soft lock or free lock. Soft is basically auto aim that is harder to get a shot on target then free aim. Free aim is awesome and needs to be implemented in all games. It felt so rewarding hitting headshots from across the map or pulling off amazing quick kills. While playing I only found one weapon that I liked and that is because it had a zoom. I hated the progression. It took forever to level and you only got new guns at 5,10,20 and 40. I only got to 20 and spent all my money on a shitty shotgun. Well my friend did and we made fun of him for a week until we quit playing the game. Also, if you didn't know about max payne, he can slow mo and you can slow mo in multiplayer. There is also a few other perks that helped you in battle like slowing down time while speeding up your reaction time or make you seem like you are on the other team. Level 40's got rocket launchers which instantly made me feel like the game was unbalanced. One shot kills.
Death match was notorious. If you didn't have a class where you could run around as fast as possible with duel wielding guns and pressing the left and right triggers all the time, then you couldn't win. Duel wielding wasn't fair and it felt like I was getting head shotted all the time from sprayers. We used to call these players "Spray and Pray" back in the days! Fuck em'.
The only thing that I would recommend to play is Large Team Deathmatch. Gang wars was just confusing and no one played it and you could bet money. I want a game where I can bet real fucking dough on that. The small maps sucked and the large maps were great because they are Symmetrical like Gears of War which makes me happy. It's fair wherever you spawn. Maps need balance, games need balance, guns need balance and perks need balance. Developers have just been overloading us with customization without caring about what I "perfect builds." Spraying a gun isn't fun. Killing shouldn't be fun if it isn't skillful or you are just a sadistic asshole. Winning isn't everything buddy so calm down with the double uzi's.
237 blips out of 1000
Pros
-Slow mo was fun when you jumped off buildings or through windows.
-Some maps Symmetrical.
Cons
-Hardly any players a month ago
-Balance issues
-This game got delayed for years and this is the product. Rock star more like Pawn star.
-More aggravating then fun.
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