Tony Hawked for good.

Can anyone say that this is the funeral to Tony Hawk?  Can't Tony Hawk just say it?  Not because this is a disgrace to the franchise but because these games are better then ever.  I've recently got depressed over the thought of my gaming abilities decreasing due to my age.  I feel like teenagers are just randomly spastic and hyper and just are murder machines.  Now that I have escaped murdering people, I am a passive pacifist that is relatively lazy.  But I grew up on this shit.  I love skateboarding.  This is the reason I got a Sony Playstation for Christmas.  To play Tony Hawk.

I play a lot of skate.  Even still, I've been watching my stunning abilities at Skate 2.  But Tony Hawk is the exact opposite of Skate.  Skate is for the sand box gamer who likes to flaunt their own horn.  Tony Hawk is for the strict fundamentalists.  You need to follow the rules to win and there is plenty of things to get around.  What I thought were bugs the whole game are actual game play mechanics that I am later using to hack Tony Hawk's reality (which is completely different then ours) and try to attempt a sick score on Down Hill Jam.  Fuck That Map.

My two big upsets with this remix or bring back or recollection.  Whatever the term is, where is the horse?  I need to one up people on online.  Also I want contests to be back.  I want to be able to play contests online.  And no make a park.  Internet on consoles have become fluent.  They really missed the mark on playability on this game.  The online playlists that we can play are score which I know I will get dominated at.  I haven't methodologically played a Tony Hawk game in probably 7 years. 

I was so surprised how fast I picked up the controls.  At first I was trying Skate Controls and then after that I started button mashing and eating shit every jump.  Once you realize that the board is never supposed to actually touch the ground you start scanning the map, thus analyzing it, and combos start to become fluent.  Next up is enlisting a routine.  And also I loved the nostalgia feel.  This game came out what, twelve years ago, and I still know that the map has Carlsbad but how do I get to it!  The more and more you play a map the more you see all the hidden access points and how to get to them.

I was hoping more from this package even though it's an arcade game.  The graphics look really good.  I am no purist and I feel like they could of pulled back some objects and made spots a little easier to hit due to the fact that you don't actually control your speed besides your landing and crouching. You don't push so hitting an object is random.  I feel like if they gave this project to fans, they would of taken the maps and changed some strategies around.  Camera would be nice to edit footage and no skate films in the game.  If I get a secret dvd in the game, it should be something in the bonus menu.  I loved watching the accident videos from before.

Blips 5/10
PROS
-Exciting, Fun, Memories
-Feels good for Tony Hawk to be back.
-Same game, Same fun.
CONS
-Hardly any replayability
-Not enough change when Technology has changed so much in 12 years
-No competitions or films.

What other games should get brought back?

Max Payne more like I am in Payne

First of all I am not reviewing Max Payne's single player.  I watched it and only helped my room mate on one part that he was stuck on for a week.  It looked like fun and the graphics are amazing.  It's like a comic book was a video game that was a comic book.  But I'm not a fan of Max Payne as a character.  Pessimists or Nihilists are completely irritating to me.  Oh this guy is complaining because he is in a rich area of South America which is basically one of the richest areas of the world you can be in.  The seperation between poverty and wealth is gross and I don't even care if it's a fucking fictional story.  Max Payne keep taking those painkillers so somehow I can get them through the controller because I don't like your complaining.  I wish I could ride on a helicopter and shoot rockets in mid air.  If I did that once I would die a fine death but he does it three times. 
I am going to review the multiplayer.  HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?!  Well I don't get paid and I don't care.  The matchmaking is bad.  I started playing probably a week after this game was released (I DIDN't HAVE INTERNET) and the population on each server was less then 300 which basically means that matchmaking means if you get into a match you should be excited.  There was a few times that I would be waiting to join a match and not just the game would freeze but the console would.  I'm not used to PS3 since it's my roommates but I feel like this shouldn't happen at all ever anymore.  Isn't humanity better then this that if the game gets stuck in some makeshift server that doesn't exist that there should be a failsafe to pull you back to atleast the main menu.  It can't be too hard. 

Connection: 1/5 blips

Next was the segregation.  Before you join any game mode you have to pick between soft lock or free lock.  Soft is basically auto aim that is harder to get a shot on target then free aim.  Free aim is awesome and needs to be implemented in all games.  It felt so rewarding hitting headshots from across the map or pulling off amazing quick kills.  While playing I only found one weapon that I liked and that is because it had a zoom.  I hated the progression.  It took forever to level and you only got new guns at 5,10,20 and 40.  I only got to 20 and spent all my money on a shitty shotgun.  Well my friend did and we made fun of him for a week until we quit playing the game.  Also, if you didn't know about max payne, he can slow mo and you can slow mo in multiplayer.  There is also a few other perks that helped you in battle like slowing down time while speeding up your reaction time or make you seem like you are on the other team.  Level 40's got rocket launchers which instantly made me feel like the game was unbalanced.  One shot kills. 
Death match was notorious.  If you didn't have a class where you could run around as fast as possible with duel wielding guns and pressing the left and right triggers all the time, then you couldn't win.  Duel wielding wasn't fair and it felt like I was getting head shotted all the time from sprayers.  We used to call these players "Spray and Pray" back in the days!  Fuck em'. 

The only thing that I would recommend to play is Large Team Deathmatch.  Gang wars was just confusing and no one played it and you could bet money.  I want a game where I can bet real fucking dough on that.  The small maps sucked and the large maps were great because they are Symmetrical like Gears of War which makes me happy.  It's fair wherever you spawn. Maps need balance, games need balance, guns need balance and perks need balance.  Developers have just been overloading us with customization without caring about what I "perfect builds."  Spraying a gun isn't fun.  Killing shouldn't be fun if it isn't skillful or you are just a sadistic asshole.  Winning isn't everything buddy so calm down with the double uzi's. 

237 blips out of 1000

Pros
-Slow mo was fun when you jumped off buildings or through windows.
-Some maps Symmetrical.
Cons
-Hardly any players a month ago
-Balance issues
-This game got delayed for years and this is the product.  Rock star more like Pawn star.
-More aggravating then fun.